


Romeo: Ladies Man of Fairy Tail (Though its Cana fault he is)

by chaosphoenix123



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-04-17 15:19:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4671500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosphoenix123/pseuds/chaosphoenix123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a five years after the GMG and Romeo is all alone. He finds himself hanging out with Lisanna and Cana. Before long the three decide to go out on a job together. After the job though Cana gets everyone drunk and one thing leads to another and Romeo must now deal with the aftermath; which includes an angry Wendy who's dating Mest.</p><p>Also know that this a pure comedy (with a light touch of romance). While there will be sexual situations there will be no lemons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

What a Lovely Day

"Oh, what a day, what a lovely day", Romeo groaned sarcastically as he sat around the guild hall watching everyone else go about their day. The guild's numbers have climb in the past few years, back to it original numbers before Tenrou and then some. While there were loads of people Romeo could have been watching to help the day go by faster only a certain few tables caught his attention.

At one table were Natsu and Lucy flipping thru a house decoration book. A few years ago, after Natsu witness Igneel's death at the hands of Acnologia the Fire Dragon-Slayer fell into a deep depression. So deep that some members were worried that he might have became suicidal. He locked himself up in his shack for a whole week, talking to no one, not even Happy. Finally after that one week Lucy had enough and pounded on his door demanding that he let her in. When he ignore her she said that she'll wait outside until he ready to talk to her and so she did. Enduring the cold nights and scorching days Lucy stay there only eating the food that Happy bought with him to the house every day, and laying in a sleeping bag she brought with her. Finally after two weeks of this Natsu open the door and let her in. No one knows what happen between them but the next day Natsu was back at the Guild Hall with his goofy smile on his face and his arms wrap around Lucy; the week after he moved in with her along with Happy.

Romeo's eyes next fell on the table where Gray and Juvia were eating together while talking about a job they just got back from recently. The whole guild was caught-off guard the day Gray asks Juvia to be his girlfriend two years ago, of course none more so than Juvia herself. Romeo figure it had something to do with whatever occured between them in the days following the Tartaros incident. But to say Juvia was excited by this news would have been the understatement of the century. Her tears of happiness flooded the guild more than her tears of sadness ever did. Though she had to promise Gray she ease off a little with her obsession over him. Last year he asked her to move with her and to be frank not even Gajeel had ever seen her that happy.

Speaking of the Iron Dragon-Slayer, Gajeel was in the process of helping Levy plan out their wedding. That right, six months ago Gajeel finally grew a pair and propose to Levy while the guild was at the annual Sakura-Blossoms viewing earlier this year. It would have been pretty romantic if Levy didn't passed out from excitement. But what really surprise Romeo was how well Jet and Dory took it. Apparently Gajeel, in secret, obtain their permission for him to married her. At least that's what Lily told everyone, though Gajeel vehemently denies this when asked. It probably helps that Jet and Dory (who been working out over the years and has finally gotten his old body shape back) have moved on from Levy and have each gotten girlfriends of their own.

The sound of a sword being sliding across a whet stone brought Romeo to the next person who love life has skyrocketed. Erza and Jellal have been meeting in secret for years when she goes out on missions. Because Jellal is still a wanted criminal even by the reform Magic Council, it would cause troubles for the guild and Erza if word got out. The only people who know of their secret meetings are the ones who people refer to as the "True Fairies". They're the ones who were at Tenrou Island and the ones who stay with the guild during those long seven years afterward.

The sound of a baby crying brought Romeo's attention to Elfman and Evergreen who were sitting at the table behind him. Evergreen was cradling their four month old son Hiko who had the Evergreen's hair but Elfman's eyes. The couple starting dating after the Grand Magic Games and after the war with Tartaros got engaged, in fact they only got married two years ago. Everyone spoil the child but no one more than Mira and Lisanna, though the Thunder Tribe's guys and Laxus were a close second. Right now Elfman was trying to teach his son how to say the word manly, while Evergreen was doing her best to restrain herself from turning him to stone.

Everyone else has been doing okay too. Max got over his broom fetish and was dating Laki though Romeo suspected it had something to do with her Wood-Make Magic. Kinana was in the same situations as Erza when it came to Cobra, only it now easier since she was able to go on missions by herself. Mira was married to Freed of all people, which amazed Romeo cause he could have sworn that Freed swung the other way. Warren, Reedus, Nab (who was Droy's work out buddy) and Vijeeter each have gotten girls of their own from around town and have form their own team together. Azlack and Bisca are still married with a second kid on the way (Bisca only a month pregnant), while Asuka has grown up to be a spirited eleven year old who is almost ready to join Fairy Tail as an official guild member. Though what has caught most of Romeo's attention nowadays along with everyone else was how the Potion Mage Polyusica has been hanging around the guild hall a lot more often recently, though Mira had said it might have something to due with a certain Fairy Tail Master of ours. Wakaba and Macao still get stupid drunk and ogle all the pretty young girls the guild seem to get, not like they got anything better to do.

But this does bring Romeo to his current predicament. How is he, a well-muscled, mature, good-looking guy like him still single while almost everyone else has found someone?

An angelic laughter draws his attention to the table to his far right and he is instantly reminded why.

For over there at the table, sitting way too close to one another for Romeo's liking was Mest Gryder with his arm draped over the beautiful Wendy Marvell who was sporting a glorious smile. That could be him over there sitting next to Wendy. But two years ago she hit him with the deadliest spell known to mankind: The Friendzone spell.In her mind most likely she still saw him as the six-year boy she met when she first came to Fairy Tail, and just wanted to be friends with Romeo. Then the next day she started dating Mest, which apparently no one had a problem with for some fuck-up reason. This hit Romeo pretty hard and sometimes he finds himself wishing that Mest died in that explosion that destroy the Magic Council all those years ago. He knows he shouldn't be wishing that seeing how Mest is a fellow guild member, but sometimes he can't help it.

It has been a year and yet he was still hung up on her.

And yet here he was watching them from afar while sharing a table with a drunk piss-off Cana and a depress looking Lisanna complaining to one another about how Laxus and Bickslow dumped them.

"Oh what a day, what a lovely day indeed.", Romeo said once again as he turned to joined in with the other two members of Fairy Tail who love lives are in the dumps, not knowing his life was about to change in a way that he couldn't even begin to imagine.


	2. Chapter 2

What Happen?!

"This bites!" Cana moaned while downing her drink, "All these happy couples around here being all lovely-dovely! Makes me sick to my stomach and I had some pretty strong stuff that made me sick to my stomach before!"

"It can't be help", Lisanna said with a sigh, "Like Mira would say the magic spell of love has been cast all over the guild."

"Yeah but it seem that we're immune to its effects", Romeo added in.

"You can't even talk Romeo!", Cana said, "You could have probably any girl in town right now, but you're so hung up on being friend-zone by Wendy that you refuse to move on!"

"Oh really; and what about you?", Romeo countered, "Laxus broke up with you like three months ago and all I seen you do is mope around the guild hall bitching about it."

"At least I got some dick! When the last time you got any pussy?!", Cana said while standing up and throwing her hands on the table in anger and sending a glare Romeo way.

"Oh yeah you got some dick. More like you had every dick in town!", Romeo said standing up to meet her eye-to-eye, "And my love life is none of your business!"

"You trying to say something, virgin boy?!", Cana said while reaching into her cards pouch and putting out some glowing cards.

"You know exactly what I'm saying Miss way-to-easy!", Romeo snap back as purple flames started to appear on both his hands.

"CAN YOU BOTH JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN?!", Lisanna yells making both of them stop what they were doing and stare at her in surprise.

"You both are causing a scene and that's not helping things right now" Lisanna explained as she pointed to the rest of the guild who were in fact staring at the trio.

Both Romeo and Cana laugh sheepishly before disabling their magic and sitting back down.

"It's clear that all three of us are being annoyed by the atmosphere of the guild hall. It's making us act irrational", Lisanna explained to them after everyone else in the guild went back to their business.

"Obviously not you", Cana noted, "I figure you be the maddest of the three of us seeing how Bickslow dumped you so he can spend more time with his "babies"."

"Don't remind me. It been hard getting over the fact that I was replace by flying inanimate objects", Lisanna admitted.

"I'm just surprise that he still breathing after that. I thought for sure Mira and Elfman would have torn him a new one by now", Romeo said.

"If it wasn't for Freed and Evergreen calming them down they would have", Lisanna said, "Anyway what about you? Didn't Laxus dump you cause of your absurd drinking habits?"

"I know right?! What utter bullshit! I do not have a drinking problem!", Cana yelled as she finish off her fifth barrel that day, and it was only ten in the morning.

"Another barrel Mira; This time make it extra strong!", she yelled at the bar.

"Coming right up!", the eldest Strauss sibling yelled back.

Romeo and Lisanna just shake their heads at this.

"We need to get away from here. It feels awkward being single in a guild full of couples", Lisanna said.

"I hear that even Asuka has some of the younger boys around town chasing after her. Alzack is working overtime as the overprotective father to keep them away.", Romeo said.

"Are you saying an eleven year old has more game than any of us?", Cana asks.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. And let not forget the fact that Happy dating Carla while even Lily is dating Queen Shagotte who happen to be Carla's mom", Romeo replied.

"That must be awkward for her. And it must be awkward for you that a cat is getting more pussy than you", Cana joked.

"Do you want third-degree burns? Cause that how you get third-degree burns", Romeo countered.

"Enough you two", Lisanna pleaded, "See this right here reinforces my point that we need to get out of the guild."

"And do what? A job or something?", Romeo asked.

"Actually that's not a bad idea. I being moping about ever since Bickslow broke up with me and haven't been on a job in months and I'm running out of spending money", Lisanna said.

"And I'm running out of beer money. Sitting around here has done nothing for my purse", Cana remark, "And if I see Juvia and Gray kiss one more time I'm going to yak."

"Well, someone pick a job and we'll get going", Romeo said as he once again looked over at Wendy and Mest, "The sooner the better."

Sometime Later.

The job that Lisanna pick out was a simple one: protect a merchant as he delivered his goods between two towns. The job was took place in a town about a three hours train ride to and there they met the client. It was a boring simple job, but hey the pay was 100,000 jewels so there was that. While some bandits did show up they were nothing more than mere nuisances when face with Romeo's Rainbow Fire, Lisanna's Take Over, and Cana's Card magic. After the job was over the merchant threw in a little extra along with the money. A highly rare, highly alcoholic, liquor bottle that hailed from the land of Sin. At first Romeo and Lisanna try to say no that it wasn't necessary, but Cana wasn't having any of that shit. Not only did she accept the drink she insisted that they enjoy it right now. Seeing how it was getting dark, they decide to rest at a roadside inn. Unfortunately there was only one room left available so they all had to share it.

Didn't stop Cana from enjoying herself though, and here where the problems begin.

"Oh sweet Mavis this stuff burns going down!" Cana hollered she finish a drink of the bottle. She had barely begun and already she looked more drunk than either Romeo or Lisanna have ever seen her, which was saying a lot.

All Romeo and Lisanna could do was stare as she continues to get more intoxicated with every swig.

"Well don't just sit there and gawk at me, join in! A drink is always better when shared with friends", The Card Mage said as she scooting over into Lisanna who have been sitting on the floor watching.

"Oh no, I couldn't" she protested, "I'm a light drinker. I couldn't-" was all she could say before the bottle was force into her mouth and the liquid was pour down her throat.

"Aw stop being such an uptight little girl and enjoy yourself for once", Cana laughed as Lisanna push the bottle away and started coughing. Her eyes and noses were burning from it but that was nowhere close to how her throat felt. It was like Natsu unleash a full on Fire Dragon Roar into her mouth.

Romeo could only watch show from the bed for a moment longer before Cana turn her attention toward him.

"You need to have a drink to there Romeo. You're seventeen, you're legal to drink", Cana said.

"Naw I'm good, no thanks", Romeo said waving his hand.

"Huh, I figure you be like your father and be fun to hang with while getting drunk. But obviously you're like your mother who rarely drunk if I remember correctly", Cana complained.

"I'm surprise you can remember anything right now seeing how drunk you are", Romeo said a little irritated at the hit to his pride.

"Well at least I'm enjoying myself while you two are still sulking", Cana said as she pointed at the two of them (Lisanna has recovered from her coughing fit), "I mean seriously. We took this job to get away from the crushing loving aura of the guild and yet here you two are still acting all miserable while I'm turning it up."

Romeo and Lisanna both looks at each other before sighing.

"She right it seems like this mission didn't do anything but put some money in our pockets and that it", Lisanna grumbled.

"Maybe Cana right, we need to loosen up a bit", Romeo admitted.

"That's the spirit!", Cana bellowed in glee, "Now who's up for a drink?!", she said while holding the bottle in front of them.

"Well maybe one drink wouldn't hurt", Lisanna said.

Ten minutes later

(And the bottle all gone)

"And then, and then, and then me and Mira walked in on Elfman practicing his kissing skills on a pillow that he drew Evergreen face on!", Lisanna yelled as both Romeo and Cana busted out laughing while rolling on the ground their faces as red as Erza's hair.

"He had to, *hic* do allllll ouuuur chores for two months to make us keep it a secreeet", she finished before she herself felled down on the floor and started removing her blouse.

"Whoa it getting hot in here", she said while doing it.

The fact that Romeo wasn't trying to stop her should have send warning bells off, but he himself was already down to his boxers, while Cana had already taken her pants off.

"Hey Romeo I just notice but when did you gets those abs?", Cana said as she rub her finger along up his stomach.

"Oh training with Natsu and Gray when they aren't with Lucy and Juvia", he replied not at all embarrassed by the fact that Cana was extremely close to him while only in her bikini top and panties.

"Really now? Hey Lisanna you got to feel this", Cana called out.

"Let me see", Lisanna says as she tumble to the other side and starts rubbing her fingers all up and down his stomach as well, "Ooh they're so hard."

Suddenly Cana's hand moved lower down to Romeo's groin, "Oooo seem something else is hard as well", Cana purred.

Romeo couldn't tell if he was still red from the alcohol or the soft hands on his crotch.

"Hey Romeo stand up", Cana demanded.

He wobbles up straight and had to catch himself before he fell but eventually he was standing up in front of the two ladies.

"Wendy must be crazy to pass you up for someone like Mest? What about Wakaba's kid Lindsay?", Lisanna asked.

"Came out of the closet awhile ago", Romeo reminded her.

"Oh yeah, that's right", Lisanna remembered.

"Well that's too bad for her. Now let's see what you got underneath here", Cana said as she suddenly grabs Romeo's boxers and pulls them down.

A few moments of silence pass as Romeo was left speechless by Cana impulsiveness while Cana and Lisanna were left speechless by something else.

"Ho...ly shit", Lisanna gaped, "That's bigger than Bickslow."

"Bickslow? Hell that's bigger than Laxus", Cana added, "Romeo that thing is huge. Trust me when I say this but I seen Wendy naked at the hot springs. Don't let her boobs fool you, she still pretty petite and I'm pretty sure you could break her in half with that thing."

Romeo blush was starting to heat up upon hearing at this from the girls while something else was also started to heat up in the girls.

Suddenly the alcohol overrides all rational thoughts as Cana gropes up on Romeo, "Hey Romeo. Are you really still a virgin?"

Romeo was hesitated to answer but eventually, "Y-Yes."

"Oh that's all right. Let me teach you something then", The card mage purred.

"Cana! What are you doing?!", Lisanna in a moment of common sense asked.

"Oh come on Lisanna. When the last time you got laid?", Cana asked still groping Romeo who look like he was about to faint.

Lisanna thought back to all the nights in the past three months when she had to rely on her toys to relieve her stress and the inner voice in her headed, fueled by the alcohol just said "Fuck it".

In a flash she was groping onto Romeo too and brought him into a deep, intense kiss.

Romeo was in heaven as Lisanna's tongue swirl in his mouth. After an about thirty seconds of this Lisanna breaks away and her mouth is replace with Cana and that's all Romeo remember as his mind goes blank.

The Next Morning

The morning light crept into the room and hit Romeo in his eye.

"Oh Mavis that hurt", Romeo muttered as he use his hands to covered his face. Seeing that it wasn't working as much as he wanted it to he turned over away from the source of his irritation, only for his hand to land on something soft.

His eyes popped open and he finds himself face-to-face with the youngest of the Strauss siblings who was laying there naked alongside him with a blissful smile on her face and his hand was on her chest.

"HOLY SHIT!", was heard throughout the inn as Romeo backs up away from her only to run into someone behind him. He snaps his head around and sees in all her naked glory Fairy Tail own card mage rubbing her eyes and asking who was making so much noise.

"OH FUCKING MAVIS! GILDARTS, MIRA, AND ELFMAN ARE GOING TO KILL ME!" Romeo screamed to the heavens.

"Romeo what are you talking about?", Both Cana and Lisanna asked at the same time before looking around the room and were finally able to put the pieces together.

"Oh. My. Mavis.", Lisanna says as her eyes widen in shock.

Cana quickly grabs for her card pouch and starts searching thru its until she pulls out a white looking card. She holds it to her forehead and said Memory Past.

"What that do?", Lisanna ask while Romeo was still in shock.

"It shows me what happen twelve hours ago. It come in handy when I go out drinking", Cana said as the card started to light up and show her exactly what happen twelve hours ago.

"Lisanna you should see this. You too Romeo when you have calm down", Cana tells them.

Pretty soon all three of them are watching the card, and their faces couldn't get any redder even if they were covered in blood.

Outside Fairy Tail

"Now remember what we talk about", Cana said.

"Nothing happen. If anyone ask we say we spent the night in separate rooms at a roadside inn", Romeo stated.

"No alcohol was involved whatsoever", Lisanna added in.

"Good, now everyone acted natural", Cana commanded as she open the door and the three of them walk in.

Lucky for them everyone was too busy doing their own thing to pay any attention to them. The three were able to make it to a empty table without anyone harassing them.

"What are we going to do? If someone was to find out-", Lisanna started to say.

"No one is going to find out," Cana interrupted, "We're just going to go about our day and act like nothing happen. Pretty soon, this will all blow over and we'll be laughing about it years from now."

"Laughing about what?", Mira who suddenly pop out of nowhere said scaring the living shit out of the trio especially Romeo.

"Oh Mira! You're here!", Lisanna yelled.

"Where else would I be?", she asked as while lifting an eyebrow at her sister's strange behavior, "Now what were you talking about?"

"What do you mean? We weren't talking about nothing. Were we guys?", Cana said trying to change the subject.

"No. Nothing at all", Both Romeo and Lisanna said while putting on fake smiles.

"Why are you acting so weird right now? It's not very manly", Elfman said while coming up behind Romeo who was starting to sweat profusely.

Across the room Gajeel was talking to Levy about where their honeymoon was going to be at when suddenly a strange scent catches his attention. When he look to see where the smell was coming from his face takes on a confuse expression. As he gets up to walk to the source of the smell (While ignoring Levy's rant about why he's not paying attention to her), he notices Natsu was up to walking to the same place he was going, (by some chance Wendy happen to be out back with Mest).

As the two Dragon-Slayers approach the table that Lisanna, Cana, and Romeo were sitting at getting talked to by Mira and Elfman, both of them realized where the smell was coming from and what it was. Both of Cana's and Lisanna's scent were all over Romeo while his scent was all over the girls. Now Natsu wasn't as dense as he was a few years ago. He knew what this meant he just didn't know how to react to it. Luckily for him Gajeel decided to act for him as he started to bust out laughing. So loud was his laughter that the whole guild stop what they were doing to look at him.

"Hey Gajeel", Max asked, "What's so funny?".

But Gajeel couldn't stop laughing long enough to answer, so he just pointed back and forth between Cana, Lisanna, and Romeo while tears rolled down his face.

Romeo's face all of a sudden takes on a white complexion, "Guys I think we left out one small detail in our plan. We forgot about the Dragon-Slayers' sense of smell."

Pretty soon both Lisanna's and Cana's face were white as well.

Levy had finally walked over and started patting Gajeel on the back and asking him what was going on. He finally calm down enough to whisper in her ear, and everyone could see her face getting redder and redder by the moment.

"No way", was all she could say as her hands cover her mouth.

"Natsu, what's going on over here?", Lucy ask as she walked up behind him.

Natsu showing more self-control then he would have years ago simply whispers into her ears. But it would seem over the years while Natsu has matured to a degree, Lucy kind of slip.

"Romeo slept with both Cana and Lisanna?!", soon echo throughout the guild, thanks to the Celestial Spirit Mage.

There was an awkward silence as everyone jaws started to drop and their eyes went wide. Then Romeo felt a surge of magic go off behind him and soon there was a shadow looming over him. He looks up to see that Elfman has taken on his Beast Soul Full Body Take Over form and was glaring down at him. Then a magic circle goes off to the right of him and when he looks over to see what it was, there was Mira in her Satan Soul form also glaring at him.

"Well Romeo", Mira said in a darken tone, "Is what they're saying true?"

"Now now let's all calm down", Lisanna said trying to make sure Romeo lives to see his next birthday.

"Yes you are all taking this a little too-" was all she had time to say before she felt an immense magic aura shoot thru the guild, "Oh no, don't tell me he's here! Why today of all days?!", she wailed.

Romeo looks to his left to see the most terrible sight he could ever imagine. Cause walking right those him leaving holes in the floor as he step, was Fairy Tail's strongest mage, in fact the strongest mage on the continent, Gildarts Clive and he didn't look happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter 3. Just a reminder that this stories doesn't just involved Romeo, Lisanna, and Cana. It about Romeo reaction with all the women of the Fairy Tail world. Also no Lemons unless someone else wants to write them. They will be given credit for them.

Help Me

The very air was alive with magic as Gildarts walk closer and closer to the table where Romeo along with Cana and Lisanna were shaking in pure fear. Well more to the point Romeo was shaking with fear seeing how Gildarts was heading directly toward him, while Cana and Lisanna just stared in disbelief.

"When did he get here?!", Cana yelled at Levy while frantically waving her hands.

"He got here last night while you were out on the mission. He said he couldn't wait to see you again", Levy explained.

"Well he pick a really bad time to come see me!", Cana screams as she take off towards the slow walking tower of death (At least in Romeo's mind that what he describe him as), stopping in front of him while he was still walking forcing her to walk backwards while talking to him.

"Now listen here you old fart! I'm 22 years old technically 29. I'm a big girl and I'm free to sleep with whoever I want! You just can't come around here and try to- Hey are you listening to me?!", Cana said as Gildarts just continues to walk toward Romeo.

While that is going on Lisanna is trying her best to convince her older siblings to not kill Fairy Tail's residential Rainbow Fire mage.

"Now you two lets all calm down", she plead as Mira's and Elfman's magic starts to flare up as Romeo's attention is now torn between the tower of death and the siblings of destruction, "You do know that me and Bickslow fooled around, right?"

"That's not going to work Lisanna", Evergreen remark while rocking Hiko.

"Yes indeed, that was an entirely different situation", Freed commented while sipping his tea.

"How was that any different this situation?!", Lisanna screamed.

"Simple. Because Bickslow had us to vouch for him", Evergreen said, "Freed talk Mira into accepted him while I threaten to turn Elfman into a garden ornament if he didn't."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!", Lisanna screamed once again.

"No, but I bet Romeo wish that we were", Evergreen said as she turned her head over to the panicking Rainbow Fire Mage.

"Oh crap! What am I going to do?!", Romeo thought, "I mean I finally get laid and now I'm going to die! How could this day possibly get any worse?!"

Suddenly a fourth presence of magic energy surge up and engulfs the room. Moments later the table in front of Romeo is sliced to sawdust and he finds himself looking at the sharp end of an all too familiar sword.

"ROMEO, YOU DARE DEFILE THE VIRTUE OF BOTH LISANNA AND CANA?!" Erza boomed over all the commotion with a look of righteous fury etched her face.

"Their virtue? Does she realize who she's talking about here?",Everyone who wasn't involved in this clusterfuck thought.

"I-I-I", is all Romeo can stammer out as he continues to stare at the sharp pointy death just an inch from his face.

"I'm waiting", Erza says with a cold tone.

"Somehow I manage to piss off four S-class mages in the span of a minute! Where is my old man at anyway?! He should be trying to get me out of this mess?!",Romeo questioned.

"Psst. Psst Romeo", a voice says catching Romeo's attention for the moment as he looks over to his left see his dad looking at him two tables down with a serious look on his face.

"Son", Macao said in a low but sage-like tone that Romeo was somehow able to hear over all the commotion, "There come a time in every young boy's life when they must shake off the warm blanket of boyhood and step into the cold harsh world of manhood. There were times when I thought you would take longer than most other boys to do that. In fact there were times when I thought you prefer the company of fellow men. But it seemed that belief was unfounded. For you have achieved something most men could only dream of achieving. You have spent a night with not one, but two of Fairy Tail's angels, and it was your first time as well. I doing my best to hold back the tears of joy but as you can see they're flowing out even as I speak."

Indeed they was a river of tears. They were in fact flowing out of Macao's eyes as he gave Romeo a thumb up.

"The road ahead of you will be long and tough. And it's you must travel alone but know this. I have never been prouder to call you my son. Good luck on your journey", Macao said as he turns and walk away.

"YOU GO TO HELL OLD MAN! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!" Romeo yelled at the retreating figure that was his father, "WHAT KIND OF MAN JUST LEAVE HIS SON TO SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF MONSTERS?!"

Macao continues walking away from his son with his thumbs up sign high above his head. Before Romeo could throw more insults at him, a figure step in his way. Romeo slowly raises his head up only to find himself staring up at a man who could have easily been one of the Ten Wizards Saints and the title would have offended him. Cana was doing her best to calm him down, even going as far as smacking him upside the head, but he continue to ignore her.

"So you slept with my daughter, did you?", Gildarts asked in a voice that made Romeo want to turn his pants brown," You know Laxus had to beat me in a fight to get my approval to date her. But after the ninth straight day of fighting we decided to call it a draw and I let him date her on account of everything he has done for the guild. You remember that don't you Romeo? I believe you were there."

"Yeah I was there", Romeo remember, "Along with the entire guild, all of Blue Pegasus, Sabertooth, Lamia Scale, Mermaid Heel, Quatro Cerberus, The Rune Knights, five of the Ten Wizards Saints, Princess Hisui, King Toma, ten thousands army soldiers and First Master Mavis all begging for you to stop before you destroyed all the other ninety-five percent of the country. If I recall, you destroyed half a mountain range in under an hour as a warm-up."

"Ah yes good times", Gildarts reminisce before turning his attention back to Romeo, "So what make you think you can be with my daughter let alone sleep with her?"

"Um mm, alcohol was involved?", Romeo blurted out without thinking. The seconds those words left his mouth he was instantly regretting them. As for Lisanna and Cana all they could do was face palm knowing full well Romeo just made the situation even worse, if that was even possible.

"You mean to tell me", Ezra (who been pointing her sword at Romeo this whole time and was a little miffed about being ignored) started to say, "THAT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE TWO OF THEM WHILE THEY WERE INTOXICATED AND VULNERABLE?! YOU DESPICABLE FILTH!"

"No! No! No! Oh sweet Mavis no! I swear to the gods that wasn't the case. Please believe me!", Romeo begged as he started to bow in front of Ezra while trying not to piss himself over the deadly auras he was feeling from Mira, Elfman, and Gildarts.

It at this time that Wendy came back from outside after seeing Mest off who was going to go visit some old Rune Knights buddies of his in Crocus. As she enter the guild hall she notices that everyone was surrounding one of the table (well what remain of a table) with four of the strongest mages in Fairy Tail giving off massive amount of killer intent. Then she notice Romeo was in the center of it all bowing to Ezra for some reason.

She calmly walks over to Ezra without showing a hint of fear unlike the rest of the guild who were dead terrify of the whole situation, except for Gajeel who was still laughing his ass off and Pantherlily who was just shaking his head at his partner's antics.

"Hey Ezra, what's going on here?", she ask with all the innocent of a child.

"This foul creature that we use to call Romeo has besmirch the honor and virtue of Cana and Lisanna", Ezra announced without even looking at Wendy.

Wendy give her a quizzical look before looking at Romeo who was shaking with fright then back at Ezra.

"You must be mistaken Ezra, Romeo would nev-", Wendy stops all of a sudden as she catches a scent. She does a couple sniffs to make sure she was not imaging things, but before long the scent causes her turn toward Romeo with a look on her face that no one ever seen before. To Romeo it looked like she was struggling to retain her angelic face. Suddenly she shoots towards Romeo at such a surprising speed it causes him to fall back on his ass in surprise. The next thing he knows Wendy is hovering inches above his face sniffing him deeply and it takes everything Romeo has to not lose himself in the smell of her hair.

"Stay calm Romeo. Stay calm. Don't think about how her hair smells like a nice spring breeze, or how her brown eyes shine in the light.",He tells himself.

All the while Wendy continues to sniff him for about ten seconds as the rest of the guild including Mira, Elfman, Ezra, and Gildarts are in total shock. Even Gajeel and Pantherlily stop their foolishness to watch the scene unfold.

Then out of nowhere she just stops, stands back up and looks at Romeo and her face slowly starts to change into a back into a smile. Or at least the facade of a smile, cause no matter how sweet she tried to look Romeo couldn't shake the feeling that his death was soon to be at hand.

"Oh Romeooo", Wendy sang in a voice that sounded heavenly but carry the same vibe and tone as Mira's Satan Soul voice possibly worse, "Why am I smelling both Lisanna's and Cana's scent all over you, hmm?"

Romeo didn't know what to say. What he could he say?

"Think Romeo! Do I tell her the honest truth?! Or should I tell her in a way that make me seem like the I'm innocent one here, that I'm not the one at fault here?!".

Romeo's mind was in such a mess right now that he didn't pick up on the breeze blowing thru the guild hall, even though both the doors and windows were all close. In fact it wasn't until a voice rang out that he snap out of his stupor.

"Lover boy here had a three-way with Lisanna and Cana last night", Gajeel said bluntly as Pantherlily and Levy both face palm themselves simultaneously at the sheer stupidly of the Iron Dragon Slayer.

Romeo sworn he heard glass shatters from behind Wendy's as her face took on a shocked expression and her once brown eyes suddenly become black and void of life. She slowly turns her head to Gajeel who didn't seem to pick up on her change in attitude.

"I'm sorry Gajeel. Could you repeat that?", she asked and suddenly Romeo felt the urge to go running for the hills, (And he's not talking about Fairy Hill cause that would be like the sheep running into the lion's den.)

"They had a three-way, a threesome, a ménage a trios, a three person orgy, a wiener and two hotdog buns, a-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH GAJEEL!", Levy, Ezra, Bisca, and Evergreen yelled as the gun-slinging mother and the Fairy Queen both covered their children's ears.

"What?! She asked!", Gajeel complained, "I mean come on, she's old enough to know- Oh shit she's getting piss now."

And piss she was as the air around her started to pick up until it seem that a hurricane had been unleash inside the guild sending her hair, along with almost everyone else nearby, flying all over the place; all while still maintaining that smile.

Romeo stared in awe at the sight in front of him, or at least he did until he notice that her eyes were slowing turning from the eyes of an innocent naive teenage girl to the eyes of a fiery demon hell-bent on reaping your soul, and they were glaring straight at him.

"Now Wendy, let's calm down. This is all just a misunderstanding", Romeo fretted as he back up right into Elfman's legs. Now he finds himself surrounded by five S-class mages, all powered up and all with pissed-off looks on their faces. At this point all Cana and Lisanna could do, along with everyone else, was watch and pray that Romeo's death was swift and painless.

"Well, it was a good life while it lasted", Romeo sobbed before the voice of his savior rings out throughout the hall.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BRATS DOING?!", Master Makarov booms out.

And just like that five of the strongest mages on the planet instantly change back to their normal selves and look to see a furious-looking Makarov alongside Porlyusica, who just looks annoy that her quality time with Makarov was interrupted by these brats, standing above them on the second level.

"Why the yell is everyone getting all rowd up?!", Makarov demanded.

"It would seem that young Romeo here had quite the ravenous night with Cana and Lisanna", Freed explained while still sipping his tea like the boss he is (with his pinky out and everything).

Makarov blinks a few times upon hearing this, not sure on how to process this new information.

"Let me get this straight. Romeo, Cana, and Lisanna all had a wild night together, the rest of the guild found out, and now Mira, Elfman, Gildarts, Ezra, and for some reason Wendy want to kill him. That sounded about right? Did I leave anything out?", Makarov asked.

"Yeah that's about sums it up", Mira answered.

"Yep, that's pretty much it", Gildarts also replied as Ezra, Elfman, and Wendy nod their heads in agreement.

"Well unfortunately I can't let you do that well because beside the obvious. Romeo is a season veteran of the guild along with being its youngest male member. And he is the son of the guild's fourth master, who I see is not defending his son", Makarov explains while looking toward Macao who chuckles nervously.

"Oh thank the gods", Romeo breaths in relief.

"Though we will have to discuss the possible consequence that may or may not occur", Master said in a more serious voice, "But we'll have time for that later. The other guilds should be arrived soon for the Annual Guild/ Guild Master Meeting."

Just as he said that the doors of the guild hall open up to reveal the top members of Blue Pegasus, Sabertooth, Lamia Scale, Mermaid Heel, and Quatro Cerberus alongside their masters.

"Ah right on schedule. Mira, have all the masters come up to meet me upstairs," Makarov said as he and Porlyusica started to walked back into his office, "And the next person to cause a fuss will be restricted to getting-cats-out-of-trees jobs for a year, do I make myself clear."

"Yes master", the whole guild replied.

And with that the guilds mingle with one another while the masters discuss whatever they discuss when they have these meetings. (It was a common theory that they just bullshitted around during these meetings. The guys try to get Sting to tell them what really goes on but he was sworn to secrecy.)

This turn out to be the perfect time for gossip between on the girls of the guild, including Flare who was in town to visit with Lucy.

"So what's been going on with you girls lately?", Jenny ask Lisanna trying to dig up the latest dirt on anyone she could, especially her sister.

"Oh you know", Lisanna stammered out while avoiding eye contact with any of the girls, which was quite a feat seeing how all of them were crowded around one table, "Defeating those dark guilds and everything."

"Are you okay?", Yukino asked clearly concerned about the girl.

"Well at least she's doing better then miss little Sky-Dancer over here", Minerva points over to Chelia who was trying to find out why Wendy was sending death glares to Cana, Lisanna, and across the room to a certain depress looking Rainbow Fire Mage who was getting patted on the back by his father and Wakaba who both had wide smile on their faces.

"Did something happen that we should know about?", Sherry asked feeling a bit uncomfortable with the atmosphere at the table.

"Cana, Lisanna, and Romeo had a threesome last night", Gajeel told them as he walk by the table being follow by Rouge who was begging for a fight.

"Dammit Gajeel!", Levy along with Cana and Lisanna yelled back at him, "Why do you keep doing that?!"

"Cause it's fun. Why else?", he replied back.

To say that the other girls were shock would have been an understatement seeing how none of them move or spoke for about thirty seconds as the news sunk in.

"We're talking about the same Romeo here right?", Chelia asked as she was the first to break out of her shock.

Seeing no sense in denying it Cana just simply tells the whole story behind last night.

"Oh my", Mira said upon finally hearing the full story for the first time, "Maybe we did jump the gun a little early on Romeo without giving him time to explain."

"Ya think?", Lisanna muttered as she notices Chelia looking a little bit more embarrassed then she should be as she was fidgeting a little.

"Are you feeling alright Chelia?"

"Oh me, I'm fine", Chelia answered back quickly, a little too quickly, "Um Lisanna, Cana, so tell me…how was he? You know, in the sack?"

Every girl at the table snaps their necks toward Chelia in complete shock; especially Wendy.

"Chelia!", Sherry gasped, clearly shock at her cousin's question, "Why would you want to know that?!"

"What?! I'm just curious!", It's a legit question!", Chelia defended herself.

"Again, I ask; why would you want to know something like that?!"

"Well Sherry, when I stop and think about it, Romeo is quite the catch", Chelia started to explain, "He's smart, talented, brave, kind of handsome, very respectful toward women, and to top it all off; he's single, and don't forget those abs."

All the women around the table take the time to digest what Chelia just said.

It was true that Romeo, while not on the same level of intellect as Master Makarov, Levy, Freed, or Lucy, was rather knowledgeable in a number of subjects, more than most of the other guys in the guild. He also had a talent for magic seeing how he easily learned two completely different types of fire magics: Rainbow Fire and Purple Flare, all before he was even teenager. He fought alongside the rest of Fairy Tail against the Legion, Tartarous, and a number of other serious threats at a young age. No one would ever consider him ugly, and to the relief of all the female mages in Fairy Tail, he didn't share his father perverted habits, at least not openly anyway.

And he did have rock-hard abs at thirteen years old and they have only gotten harder with age.

"But I thought you had a thing for Lyon", Lucy pointed out.

"Lyon being married to Meredy for almost a year now", Chelia pointed out, "Even I know when to cut my losses."

"So he's just going to be your rebound guy, your prize for second place", Kinana almost growled at the sky-slayer.

"No, of course not!", Chelia quickly explained while holding her hands up, "I mean, all the guys I gone out with since Lyon and Meredy wedding weren't exactly up to snuff and besides I know Romeo since he was twelve back when Lamia Scale visited Fairy Tail. I'm just keeping my options open."

Kinana didn't look like she was convinces at all.

"I mean it. I mean, come on. At least you know me", Chelia said, "It's not like I would hurt him."

"You better not", Kinana said, "I wouldn't want someone I see as my little brother getting heartbroken."

"A little late for that", both Cana and Lisanna thought while stealing a glance at Wendy, who looked mortified at the conversation her best friend was having.

The dragon-slayer looked like she was about to jump in with her own opinion when Beth of all people spoke up…

"Sooooo, just out of curious and whatnot…. Just how big is he?", the Vegetable mage questioned.

"Hung like a horse", Cana replied in tone one would use to describe the weather, "If the horse was enhance by magic."

This causes every women at the table to turn their heads in the direction of the Rainbow Fire mages who looked like he was about to burn both his father and Wakaba to a crisp if they didn't stop their "praising" of him.

"Yeah the squirt is a little cute", Risley agreed as they all went back to their conversation, "Especially when he's embarrassed. I could see a chubby girl like myself having a good time with him."

"First of all, you're not chubby!", Wendy blurted out, "Second of all you're way too old for him!"

"What? Seventeen the legal age of consent in Fiore and he already did it with Cana and Lisanna who are both technically thirty and twenty-nine, so I don't see what the problem is. Beside I like them young." Risley counters before looking at Cana, "So do you have in video or pictures or something? I want to see just how much the kid is packing."

And that was the spark that started the blaze. Soon all of the girls were looking at Lisanna and Cana and wondering the same thing: Just how much has Romeo grown? And if he had all these positive traits; why didn't he have a girlfriend yet?

"W-W-Well do you Cana?", Ezra stutters out her face redder than her hair.

"Really?! You of all people Ezra?!", Lisanna said.

"Do not get the wrong idea. This is nothing more than mild curiosity", Ezra explained, "And the fact that I haven't seen a real dick in over three month and I already broken all of my toys, no thanks to Jellal being a no-show lately."

"Fine I got it on my card here", Cana said while holding up said card, "But I doubt ya want to watch it in the middle of the guild hall; unless you're into that type of stuff."

"Wait!", Wendy screams out just as everyone was about to get up, luckily the guild hall is so loud due to the guys arguing over something that it only catches the attention of the people at the table, "You all are not seriously thinking about doing this!"

"I think we're beyond the point of thinking and are actually going to do it", Cana said, "I mean, you're making a big deal out of this."

"You all-" Wendy points toward all the Fairy Tail girls, "Have known Romeo since he was a baby!"

"Wendy, I think you're starting to take this a little too far", Lucy said as she try to calm the girl down.

"Lucy!", Wendy interrupted as she rounds on her, "Your very first job for Fairy Tail was you traveling up Mt. Hakobe with Happy and Natsu to bring his father back home! Kinana, you see him like a little brother! Levy, you two discussed books together! Bisack, for Mavis' sake, he was your ring boy at you and Alzack's wedding! Not to mention the fact you used to babysit him and he has babysitted your daughter in turn, for free! Are you all going to sit here and tell me that you are willing to watch a video of him plowing Cana and Lisanna all for the sake of curiosity?!"

The goes silence as the all toss glances at one another before finally Lucy spoke up…

"Yeah, just to satisfy our curiosity."

Wendy's jaw drop open and she tries to rationalize what she just heard.

"W-Why?"

"Wendy, do you honestly believe that we're not the subject of such curious thoughts for the guys in our guilds and beyond?", Lucy asks, "I am pretty well aware of the fact that the boys often wonder about my tits, if what Natsu tells me is correct."

"What?", is all Wendy can asks.

"Whether they are real or fake, whether I have regular nipples or inverted nipples", Lucy started to count off on her fingers.

"Whether Juvia is going commando underneath her clothes or not", Juvia piped in.

"Whether my curtains match my drapes", Yukino also added in.

"Whether or not my tits are soft like a pillow or-", Lucy continued on before Wendy finally had enough.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to go into further details!", Wendy shouted while trying to fight down a blush.

"Yeah Wendy, all of us have appear in Sorcerer Weekly swimsuit edition, and we all know for a fact that guys ogle whenever that have the chance", Jenny said, "Just because guys do stuff like this doesn't mean we can't and besides it not like we're going to watch the video and all of a sudden become sex-craze divas whose only rational thoughts involve Romeo's dick."

"Juvia agrees", the water mage added, "Juvia is happy with Gray-sama, she's just slightly curious."

All the other women nodded their heads in agreement.

Wendy struggles to say something to counter all of this before finally hanging her head down in defeat, "Let's just watch the video."

Leaving both Hiko and Asuka with their respective fathers, every single girl excluding Porlyusica and the female guild masters move down to the basement, somehow without drawing attention from the guys who were busy starting a brawl. (Lucy shook her head in annoyance knowing that Natsu had something to do with it.)

"Projection" Cana chanted as the card she was holding project a screen that stretch across the empty back wall of the basement.

"Now are we sure we want to see this. I mean I could care less either way, but what about you Lisanna?", Cana asked.

"Well if this could help Romeo chances of finally getting a girlfriend I'm all for it", she answered hesitantly, "Though I am curious to know why you still haven't delete this yet."

"Something to watch at night when I'm feeling lonely", Cana casually told her, leaving Lisanna with a disbelief look on her face.

"And what about you, Mira? You seen awfully interested in watching your younger sister get plowed", Jenny asked with a sly smirk on her lips, "Do you have some kind of sister complex maybe? Do you get off on this sort of thing?"

"Keep those sick fantasies to yourselves like a good girl Jenny", Mira replied back, "I just want to make sure Romeo didn't hurt my sister in anyway, and that it was all consensual."

"Okay here we go", Cana said and the show commences

…

….

….

At one point in the video session the girls had tilts their heads all the way to the right…

And then all the ways to the left…

And then damn near upside down.

….

….

….

"Where did ya'll get the pogos from?", Evergreen asks, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"For some reason, they were already in the room", Cana answered.

"And the bicycle", Kinana asks.

"Apparently I conjure it up", Cana said.

….

….

….

"Are your cards meant to be use in that manner?", Kinana asks.

"I won't tell if you won't", Cana answered.

….

...

...

"Where did Romeo learn to bend a leg like that?", Lucy asks as she covered her mouth in shock.

"I don't know but I'm taking notes down for me and Gajeel so we can try it on our wedding night", Levy said as she was indeed writing down furiously on a notepad.

"Make me a copy, will you?", Lucy asks.

"Me too", Bisca voice up.

"Me three", Jenny said later.

….

…

…..

"Lisanna, you seem to be very proficient in giving handjobs. And blowjobs….and tailjobs, and wingsjobs, and catpaws jobs, and lets not forget those cat ears jobs", Kagura pointed out with a somewhat straight face even though she was literally glowing red while next to her Millianna was now taking notes of her own so she can try some of this stuff out on Toby, who she been dating for over a year now.

The younger Strauss sister merely shrugs at this, "Bickslow was into some kinky things and apparently Romeo had some secret fantasies he always wanted to try."

….

….

….

"How are you two walking straight after the beating you took?", Beth asks.

"That is one of the great mysteries of the universe", Cana replied, "Now pass the popcorn and be quiet. It's getting to the good part."

Hours (and lost of innocence) later

When it was all over Wendy, Beth, and Chelia all looked like they were about to passed out, if their red faces were anything to go by. Lucy was speechless while Ezra was doing her best to remain conscious. All in all every girl down in that basement mind was blown, even Lisanna and Cana after watching the video for a second time.

"He just kept going and going", Flare pointed out as her eyes were glaze over.

"Seriously, where did he learn to do some of those positions?", Milligana asked as she try to hide her nosebleed.

"I guess he must have found Macao's porno or something", Bisca answered while being secretly disgusted with herself seeing how she use to babysit the boy who she had just watch on the big screen rail two of her best friends, (And even more disgusted by the fact that she had gotten a little turn on by it. Her damn pregnancy hormones were acting up again.)

"Sweet Mavis' ghost", Levy spoke out, "No wonder Chelia and Beth want a piece of him. Wendy, you really missed out."

If Levy would have been looking directly at Wendy when she made that comment; there was no way in hell she would have missed the death glare that was thrown her way.

"And he just kept cumming too." Minerva said with her face still slightly red from what she saw even though she try to maintain her composure, "Someone like that could easily get a girl knocked up."

Suddenly Mira, who was still a little shocked that the baby boy of the guild wasn't a baby anymore, was snapped out of her thoughts.

"Cana, Lisanna, I didn't notices Romeo wearing a condom during that entire… marathon if you will. So I'm assuming both of ya were on the pill when this happen."

Both of Cana's and Lisanna's faces drop upon hearing this. In fact Cana drops her alcohol mug that magically appeared in her hand.

"Well you see since I wasn't with Laxus anymore-"

"And Bickslow broke up with me-"

"I haven't really been getting any action lately"

"Haven't really been going out these days"

"So it may have slipped my mind to-"

"I may have forgotten to-"

"Take my pills," they both muttered.

…

…

…

All the occupants in the room just stare wide-eye at the two as the words sink in. Then slowly, very slowly they all turned to Mira only to see her smiling.

"Well I guess I was right in trying to eviscerate Romeo earlier. Allow me to go rectify that little mistake right now, excuse me.", as she changes to her Satan Soul: Sitri and charges up the stairs. As the doors fly off there hinges a voice booms over all the commotion:

"ROMEO! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER!"

Romeo upon seeing Mira coming at him in her most powerful form, he did the only thing any real man would do in this type of situation...

He ran away screaming like a little bitch with his arms flailing in the air.

And so Mira gave chase all the while screaming...

"BRING THAT ASS HERE BOY!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm not trying to make all the girls seem like sex-crazed divas, most of them were just curious. Wendy and Elfman both became S-Class over the years. Cougars are everywhere in Fiore. Run like the wind Romeo, then run faster cause the wind is helping Wendy catch up with ya. Also, did I almost make Wendy yandere ? Cause that would be scary and this is a comedy/action story. Don't worry the action plot is coming soon.


	4. Its WHAT?!

IT'S WHAT?!

Romeo was running. No scratch that, he was hauling ass around the guild hall while Devil Mira was hot on his heels. Pushing people aside, sliding under tables and even using Purple Flare whips to zip-line himself across the room, but nothing seemed to help as Mira was getting closer and closer.

And the fact that everyone else were just standing around watching the whole damn thing wasn't helping as even Natsu and his father were just sitting there gawking at the speculate.

Suddenly Romeo feels a hand grabs the back of his vest and he instantly lifted off the ground. As he slowly turns around in mid-air, he silently prays to any god who listening to grant him a quick and painless death if possible as he comes face-to-face with the devil of Fairy Tail herself who had a demonic smile on her face.

"Hello Romeo", Mira says.

"H-h-h-hi Mira", he stutters back.

"Guess what I just learn?", she asked.

"How to do underwater basket weaving?", he answered.

"Learn that last year, guess again."

"You learn how to build an entire house out of toothpicks?" Romeo answered while trembling.

"Did that blindfolded when I was eight, keep guessing."

"You learn how to show mercy on my poor soul?", Romeo answered.

"No, I just learn that my sister and Cana weren't on the pill at the time you three had your little fun under the sheets", Mira answers as her smile disappears.

A loud gasp rang out throughout the building as Romeo's face turns pale. Meanwhile both Elfman's and Gildarts' magic begins to spike again as both of them don a look of rage. But Macao was doing a victory dance of all things.

"Oh tell everyone why don't ya?!", Cana yells as she the first one out of the basement, "That will make everything so much better!"

Romeo slips out of his vest and lands on the ground with a thump. As sweats pours down his bare chest he starts to move away from Mira who was looking down at him with vicious eyes. He backs himself into a nearby wall and realizes he was corner like a rat.

Mira slowly strolls over to him, her eyes going up and down his body like a tiger eying its prey. Soon she standing over him as he begins to quake in fear and more sweat appears, gliding down his chest.

A passing thought crosses her mind that shouldn't have been there to begin with. Mira shakes her head slightly to do away with it, then gets back to business as she picks Romeo up by the neck and brings him back to eye level with her. She can smell the fear he giving off at this point.

"So Romeo, any last words?" she asks while still trying to shake the thoughts that kept appearing in her mind

"I knew I shouldn't have watched that video",she thought to herself.

"What are you going to do to me?", Romeo cries.

"Oh I'm going to-", before she suddenly stops as a strange new feelings goes rushing through her body and she places her hand on her head to steady herself.

"Sis?", both Elfman and Lisanna ask at the same time as they watch from a safe distance.

"Honey?", Freed calls out stopping mid tea sipping to see what was wrong.

"Um, Mira you okay?", Romeo asks. Sure she was probably going to butcher him in a few seconds, but she was still a fellow guild member.

"I'm going to. I'm going to-", as she continues to shake her head and Romeo notices her iris start to turn a glossy yellow. Finally she stops shaking her head and turns to Romeo with a different type of predator gleam in her eyes.

"Mira?", Romeo asks now barely resisting the urge to piss himself from the look she was giving him.

"I'm going to ride you like a bull, you can call me Miss Cowgirl", she said in a seductive tone that causes Romeo's jaw to drop in shock.

Along with everyone else in the guild hall, most of all Elfman, Lisanna, and Freed, who dropped his teacup.

Romeo was petrified. Did he hear her correctly? Mira, the super-model star of Fairy Tail, says she was going to do what to him?!

Thinking quickly Romeo did the one thing he should have done a minute ago….

"Yellow Flames!", as he shoves a fistful of stinky flames into Mira's faces, causing her to drop him and cover her nose in disgust. Romeo scrambles away as fast as his legs and arms can take him before being stop by a sword impaling itself into the ground in front of him. He looks up he see the blood-hair knight Ezra looking down at him with righteous fury in her eyes.

"Romeo!", her voice booms, "What foul magic have you use on Mira to make her forsake her vows of fidelity!"

"Why do you assume everything is my fault?!", Romeo cried as Ezra picked him up by his leg and was holding him upside down staring him in the eye with a blade on his throat.

"I shall right this wrong, I shall undo all the evil you have done, I shall-", before she too stop in mid-sentence and started shaking her head while closing her eyes. And when they open back up again they were the same as Mira.

"I shall take you back to my room, cover myself in icing and have you lick it off of me. Slowly. Then I shall do the same to you, very slowly", she purred, "And from there we'll see what happens."

"…." as Romeo's mind try to comprehend what it just heard while everyone else brains just shutdown upon hearing that.

"Yellow Flames!",Romeo yells again and is dropped onto his head while Ezra cough and bats the smell away.

"Running, running, running",Romeo thinks before something wraps around his leg and trips him. As he looks back to see what it is, he is shock to see that it was Lucy's whip wraps around his ankle. As he follows it up to its owner, his jaws couldn't drop any lower upon seeing the face that Lucy was making at him. It didn't help the fact that her once brown eyes now match her hair instead.

"Hey Romeo, I been trying to write an erotic novel lately", as she walk toward him putting a lot more of sway into her hips, "How would you like to help me brush up on my knowledge of Kama Sutra positions so I can see which ones fit best into the story?"

"What is wrong with everyone today?! Yellow Flames!"

While Lucy was coughing up a fit, she somewhat accidentally deactivated her whip, allowing Romeo to break free.

Only to end up running into Levy who was wearing her reading glasses.

"Hey Romeo, I been reading some pretty erotic novels these days. How about you and I reenact some of my favorite scenes?", she asks with the same eyes and lustful smile the other girls had, "I like to try one with the naughty librarian and student first if you don't mind."

"Yellow Flames!"

As he runs passing the coughing bookworm, he makes a beeline for the guild doors, but he was only a few feet away before he's engulf by a tidal wave.

Soon the wave starts to shrink and take shape and the next thing Romeo knows his face is smother between the bountiful molds known as Juvia's chest.

"Oh sweet Romeo, let you and Juvia-chan go find someplace private and make thirty babies together!", she moans as Romeo is barely able to peak eye out of her cleavage and he sees that her eyes are the same as the others.

"Oh for Mavis's sakes",Romeo thinks, "Yellow Flames!"

Upon dropping to the ground Romeo looks back to yells for help only to come face-to-face with the most dreadful sight he ever seen in his life, (and he seen Acnologia before).

Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Freed, and Elfman were looking at him with rages etch all over their faces. Freed had drawn his sword, Elfman was in beast form(having handed off Hiko to Droy), Gray had Ice-Make magic circles glowing in both hands, and both Natsu and Gajeel were activating Dragon-force mode.

"Romeo", Natsu said would clench teeth, "I think you have some explaining to do."

But that was only half of Romeo's problems as he finally realizes that besides Asuka, Porlyusica, the female guild masters, Cana, and Lisanna, every single female in the guild hall including Evergreen and Bisca of all people, had yellow eyes and lustful looks on their faces and they were all targeting him. Romeo felt like a wounded gazelle being stalk by a pride of lioness.

Romeo didn't even bother to open the doors. Thanks to the weight training he has been doing with both Natsu and Gajeel and boasted by strength he never knew he had from being terrified beyond belief, Romeo just kicked the damn doors off the hinge and took off running through the streets of Magnolia, and soon enough he was followed by the horde of girls and two piss-off boyfriends, one rampaging fiancée, and two terrifying husband.

The rest of the guild could only look on in shock at what just transpire.

"Doesn't anyone want to tell me WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPEN?!", Master Makarov yells out.

"You two", Porlyusica says as she points at Cana and Lisanna and walks over to them, "What exactly happen on that mission of yours?!"

"Nothing", Cana says getting very defensive, "We escorted the merchant, stop some bandits, got waste, fucked a little, and came home. That was it."

"Got wasted?", that caught Porlyusica's attention, "What did you drink?"

"The merchant gave us a special brand of alcohol as an award for escorting him safely", Lisanna answered.

"Do you still have the bottle with you?", Porlyusica asked.

"Right here!", Cana yells as she somehow pulls the bottle out of her card holder, "I always keep the bottles of great booze as a souvenir!"

"Let me see that", as the Potion Master snatches the bottle out of her hands and sniffs and tastes the content, "Oh my dear god. How much of this did Romeo drink?!"

"Well he didn't necessary drink it", Lisanna said nervously, "Cana kind of pour about a third of it down his throat."

"Are you serious?", Porlyusica asked, "I can assume you two drank the rest?"

"Yes we did", Cana answered.

"Okay good news is you're not pregnant. This stuff here is known as an alcoholic brand of Libidinosa Cogitationes. It's an extremely rare, extremely powerful and extremely dangerous Aphrodisiac. It causes women to go crazy over any man who drinks it because it causes the man to produce an aura that stimulate the woman hormonal drive to a intense level. The more the man drinks, the more powerful its effects. But it also destroy his sperm the second he drinks it", Porlyusica explains.

"You mean I can never have grandchildren?!", Macao suddenly screams out.

"Oh now you're worry about your son?! Where were you beforehand?!", Porlyusica hollers back, "But no, the effect on his sperm reproduction will eventually goes away in about a year as long as he doesn't drink anymore of this stuff."

"Question!", Cana yells while raising her hand, "If this stuff is extremely powerful then how come Lisanna or myself weren't affect by it after Romeo drank it?"

"It takes a while for the effect to kick in, but that will shorten over time. But the main reason for you two is because you both drank some as well, making you immune to him", Porlyusica answered.

"Then how come neither you, the female guild masters or Asuka were affected?", Lisanna asks.

"Like I said the brand is named Libidinosa Cogitationes which translate into "Lustful Thoughts", meaning for a woman to be driven into lustful fits, they have to already be having sex-driven thoughts about the man in question. Just a small, tiny passing thought is all it takes to send them into their lustful rage. It was mostly use by noble and royals that have harem of their own back in the day, in fact the brand stop being made centuries ago.", Porlyusica explains completely missing the looks that were forming on Cana's and Lisanna's faces as realization don on them, "And it only affect women who are producing hormones. Asuka hasn't hit puberty yet, and most of the other guild masters and me are going through menopause." (A/N: not a joke, menopause stops women from producing hormones.)

"The real question here is how did Romeo suddenly have every woman in the guild hall lusting for him? Hmm", Makarov wonders aloud.

"That's a good question", Porlyusica agrees, "From what I've seen of the boy, while he is fairly attractive, I don't picture him competing with most of the girls in question significant others. How did they all become like this all at once? How did- where are you two going", as Porlyusica finally notices both Cana and Lisanna trying to sneak away.

"Oh", Cana spoke first, "We were just going to, to,-"

"The bathroom!", Lisanna answered.

"Yes the bathroom!", Cana agreed nodding her head, "We were going to the bathroom."

"Okay", Porlyusica said her face not showing amusement whatsoever, "First of all the women bathroom the other way, second of all, you two were going to together?"

This causes both Cana and Lisanna to laugh nervously upon realizing their mistake.

"It seems you two are hiding something from the rest of us", Makarov said as he suddenly grew to into a giant and glare down at the girls, "Now tell me my dear brats, what would that be?"

And with that the girls spill the beans about the basement and the video.

Afterward Porlyusica was looking at Cana with both of her eyes twitching in annoyance…

"You're a special kind of stupid, just like your father. Has anyone ever told you that before?"

"Oh my god, I'm getting too old for this shit", Makarov said while rubbing his temples.

"Tell me about it", Macao grumbles, "Can't believe my son turned down all those advances the girls were giving him."

"Oh you mean beside the fact that five S-Class mages were going to kill him if he accepted?", Wakaba asked.

"No there's another reason why he shouldn't have accepted", Porlyusica said her voice suddenly becoming ominous, "There's a reason why this stuff stopped being made, in fact it was outright banned. It was discovered that it threw any women affected by it into sex fill frenzy. All they could think about was sex. People soon found out that the stuff was making women fornicate, forcefully in most cases, with the male until all of his life energy was drained."

The entire guild was looking at her with looks of confusion on their faces.

"Can you repeat that in a simple language please?", Jet asked.

"Oh my god, I forget I'm dealing with idiots here", Porlyusica growls as she takes a deep breath...

"IF THOSE GIRLS CATCH UP TO ROMEO, THEY ARE LITERALLY GOING TO FUCK AND/OR RAPE HIM TO DEATH!", she screams, "IS THAT SIMPLE ENOUGH FOR YOU?!"

Everyone eyes widen in shock upon hearing this. The hall is silence for a moment before an explosion is heard outside in the town and a girlish, yet boyish scream fills the air.

"You might want to get a move on and go save the boy", Porlyusica points out as another explosion and scream are heard, "Just saying."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The Chase

"Why is it the day after I finally get laid this shit happen?" Romeo thought as he sprinted through the streets of Magnolia shoving people out the way, "Shit, if I knew this was going to happen I would have just joined the church and taken a vow of chastity!"

Behind him, he could hear the hordes of powerful female mages closing in on him.

"This is bad! This is bad! This is very bad!", The Rainbow Fire mage screams internally as he ducked into an alley and hid behind a trash can as the steaming swarm of ladies ran past him, so caught up in their lust that all of them fail to notice him.

"Okay, they're gone now", Romeo breathes a sigh of relief as he slowly starts to walk backward down the alley, keeping an eye on the street, lest he be caught off-guard by one of the crazy women. It's at that moment he realizes something….

"Why did I run? I mean I ran from Lucy, Levy, Mira, and them because Natsu, Gajeel, and the others were going to kill me if I didn't, but what about the other girls? I mean I love Wendy but she's dating Mest and as much as I hate that I'm not the type of guy to steal someone else girl. But that doesn't mean all the other girls are off limits", Romeo thought as he walks down the alley, lost in thought.

"What happen between Cana, Lisanna, and I was no doubt a one-time thing, never to repeat itself. But what about Chelia? Beth? They're around my age and last I heard they're both single. Maybe Cana has a point. Maybe I do need to get out more and stop being hung up on Wendy. There are plenty of women out there I could date and Natsu, Wendy, and the others can't get mad at me for dating someone that's not part of the guild, can that?"

Romeo was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice the trap that was being set in front of him…

"I think I'm dodging the real questions here. Like why are all the women going all lustful and yellow eyes on me, and furthermore why did Wendy look so enrage over the fact I slept with Cana and Lisanna?"

Suddenly Romeo walks right into a sticky white substance that trapped him in place, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"What the hell?!" he screamed as he struggled in vain to remove himself from it, but the more he flail about, the more entrapped he became. It was then he started paying more attention to the trap and notices something…

"Is this webbing? But there's not a spider in this part of the world that can create a web this size", he said to himself as realization slowly dawn on him.

"But there is a mage from Mermaid Heel who specializes…in….Thread….Magic….Ah shit", as a laugh fills the air and sends chills down Romeo's spine. He then slowly turns around to see Arana Webb, Mermaid Heel's residential spider mage, walking toward him in a provocative manner that would have made Macao and Wakaba gush blood from their noses have they been in Romeo's shoes. And while blood was rushing down from his head down to his...other head, Romeo couldn't help but feel like a fly trapped in a web while the spider was closing in on it for a bite.

"My, my, my. What do we have here? It seems a handsome little fly has flown into my web", Arana coos as she stands in front of Romeo and starts running a hand down his bare chest, sending shock-waves coursing thru his body.

"Romeo is it?" Arana asked to which Romeo slightly nodded. He also notices that her hand was slowly starting to move lower down his torso, "Are you single?"

"I...I think I-gmdfhdfs!" Romeo sputters out as Arana's hand has now gone down into his pants and was roughly cupping his balls.

"Well now, aren't you a big boy?" Arana purrs as she started to squeeze tighter while pressing her chest up against him.

At this point, Romeo's mind is a jumble mess as he tried and fail to gain control of himself as Arana's grip tighten.

"Unhand that boy, Arana!" a voice rings out at the head of the alleyway. Arana jerks her head back with a vicious snarl on her lips as she and Romeo look to see Erza standing there with her sword brandishes while glaring at the Thread mage.

"I found him first, he's mine!"

"Romeo is a Fairy Tail's mage! If anyone going to lay claim to him, it's going to be me!" Erza replied as she readies her blade, "This is your last chance to walk away!"

"Ha! Don't think that because you're Kagura's friend that I'll hold back against you!" Arana bellowed as she turns around and extended her hands forward, "Web Shot!"

As a series of webbing came shooting out from Arana's palm; Romeo could only watch in amazement as Erza charge and met the attack head on. As she uses her sword to perform a series of circular slashes, the webbing was sliced to bits even as Arana increase the speed of which they came spewing out in an act of desperation, but it was too late.

Before Romeo very eyes; Erza dashes past the Mermaid Heel's ace, striking her with her blade in the process. As she sheathes her sword, Arana collapses to the ground in a heap leaving the Requip mage the victor of their battle.

"Did you just-?" starts to ask before Erza once again draws her blade and cuts him free of his entanglement.

"Do not worry, I use the flat part of my blade", Erza assured him. "She'll be knocked out for about an hour but should fully recover."

Erza proceeds to pull some rope that Romeo just noticed was attached to her side.

"You planning on tying her up or something?" he asks to which Erza looks at him with a confuse look.

…

….

…..

"That rope is for me, isn't it?" Romeo asks finally remembering what happen only fifteen minutes ago and noticing that Erza eyes were still yellow.

Erza nods, "This will go slightly easier if you don't resist me, Romeo. But I promise to make it worth your while."

Erza then proceeds to slowly advance on the young Rainbow Fire mage who backs up away from her.

"Or you are welcome to offer resistance, which would most likely arouse me. Either way you and I will be making tender love by day's end."

"Erza, as falter as I am by your proposal; I think you're forgetting the fact that you're already dating Jellal", Romeo tries to tell her.

Erza stops for a moment and an angry scowl goes across her face, "Me and Jellal have reached a rough patch in our relationship. I feel that he pays more attention to taking down Dark Guilds than he does me."

"To be fair, taking down a dozen dark guilds a month is hard work", Romeo said, "Especially when you consider the fact that he's doing it by himself now; what with Ultear gone and Meredy being married to Lyon and all."

"He could ask me to come along and help!" Erza erupted, thrusting her sword all the way into the ground up to the hilt in anger, "We could spend precious time together and distribute justice to wrongdoers at the same time!"

"Meek!", were all that came out of Romeo's mouth after the terrifying display of strength he just witness as he tries to come up with something that could defuse this situation, "I-I-I think you're forgetting the fact that Jellal is still a wanted man, so that's probably why it's becoming difficult for him to see you."

"I'm starting to think that he may be seeing other women while on his "crusades", that he's being unfaithful", Erza said as she casts her eyes downward, not paying no heed to Rome's last statement.

"I doubt Jellal would do something like that", Romeo tries to assures her while thinking; "He would have to be the world's biggest idiot with a death wish to cheat on you."

"It doesn't matter though", Erza said as she lifted her head up and stare at Romeo with yellow-filled eyes that seem to glow now, "It's his loss and your gain, my dear sweet Romeo."

In one swift motion, she draws her sword out of the ground with ease and once again began her advance on the boy.

"Erza, as fun as it would be to be on a former Saint Wizard hit list; I think you two need to have a nice serious talk about your relationship. True, you and Jellal's relationship is complicated as fuck but I feel that if you talk this out you two can reach a compromise", Romeo all but pleaded to the walking red-haired symbol of death that was getting closer to him.

"I'm done talking at this point Romeo", Erza said as she dispels her top armor, leaving only her bandaged chest for the world to see, "I always knew you would grow up to be a fine lad, even if your father wasn't the greatest of role models. I never thought you would grow up to be the perfect man, though."

"That's very nice for you to say Erza, but flattery won't protected me from Jellal once he hears that you're chasing after me now", Romeo said as he notices he was beginning to run out of alleyway, "So I think that we should all calm down and think about your actions."

"Don't worry about Jellal, my sweet prince. I'll handle him", Erza tells him as a seductive smile appears on her face and she began to unravel the bandages around her chest.

"Okay Erza, I really didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice", Romeo says as he summons a giant ball of yellow flames.

"Smelly Flames: Massive Explosion!", as he detonates the attack and the whole alleyway and parts of the building next to it are filled with the smell of rotten eggs and a dirty mop.

Erza devolves into a hacking fit as even she could not withstand the powerful stench that the attack gave off. Romeo uses the cover of the stench to scramble up the walls of the alley and onto the roof and starts to take off in the direction of his friend Lindsay's house.

"I shouldn't have to worry about Lindsay going all crazy on me; she came out of the closet three years ago", Romeo thought as he remembers the day his childhood friend announces to everyone at the guild including her mom and dad that she was a lesbian. Since then she has gone on dates with a number of different girls in town. Surprisingly both Wakaba and Milligana were okay with this, or at least contempt with it.

As Romeo jumped from rooftop to rooftop on his way across town he failed to notice the presence of a smiling god-slayer who was hovering far above him.

"Gotcha."

Back at the Guild-Hall

Master Makarov just finished sending off the last of the recovery teams leaving him, Porlyusica, Macao, Wakaba, Lisanna, and Cana remaining.

"This day is turning into a bigger headache than usual", Makarov says as he rubs his temples.

"You should send both Lisanna and Cana out as well seeing how they're the only two women who wouldn't be affected by Romeo", Porlyusica suggested.

"I will once those two handed over the money to pay for the damages to the guild hall and we come to an agreement on how they're going to pay for all the damages that the other girls are no doubted causing even ask we speak", Makarov said.

"Why do we have to pay for it?!" Cana screamed out.

"Why do I have to pay for it?!" Lisanna screamed out while pointing at Cana, "She's the one who made Romeo drink the bottle!"

"Lisanna, you traitor!"

"Because Lisanna: One, you failed to stop her from shoving the bottle down Romeo's throat, you're supposed to be the more responsible between the two of you. Two, you try to keep it a secret from the rest of the guild, including myself. And three, I don't think Cana going to have enough money to pay for all the damages herself; so someone else going to have to shoulder the blame!", Makarov informed her before looking at Cana, "And you know what you did!"

Cana was about to objected when suddenly a voice echoed throughout Magnolia...

"I'M GOING TO FIND YOU ROMEO AND YOU WILL CONSUMATE OUR LOVE EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT WITH A BLADE ON YOUR THROAT!"

Everyone is silent for a moment before eventually Makarov lowers his head in defeat.

"Macao, Wakaba; take Lisanna and Cana and try to save Romeo before the boy is traumatized for life."

"Or fucked to death. Don't forget that he could be fucked to death", Wakaba reminded him.

"Yes, that too."

Back to Romeo

Romeo was now sprinting across rooftops after hearing Erza's "declaration".

"Holy crap, how does Jellal put up with her?", he asked himself as he makes a jump onto the bakery rooftop only to get halfway before suddenly two arms grabbed him from behind and pull him upward.

"What the hell?!", he screams as he hears a giggle from behind him and turns his head around to see Chelia looking back at him with yellow hazed eyes.

"Hiya cutie", she says.

"Hello...Chelia."

"Whatcha doing?" she asked.

"Flying, thanks to you", Romeo answers to which Chelia giggles again.

"You're so funny."

"Chelia, as much as I enjoyed this chat and the fact that I'm flying hundreds of feet in the air, I would really like to have my feet back on the ground if that's okay with you", Romeo tells her.

"Hey, Romeo?" Chelia asks, completely ignoring Romeo's statement.

"Yes, Chelia?", Romeo huff in annoyance.

"How long have we known each other?"

"Since I was twelve I guess. That's when you pay your first visit to Fairy Tail with Lamia Scale."

"And in all that time, you never once thought about asking me out?", The god slayer pouted.

"I thought about it a couple times here and there, but-"

"But?"

"You were so dead set on Lyon, remember?" Romeo answered in an annoyed voice as he looked down and noticed that they were coming up on Lindsay's house.

"I would have gone out on a date with you if you asked", Chelia pouts.

"We both know that is a bullshit lie", Romeo responses.

"Not true, I really would have said yes. You're a cute guy."

Romeo can feel his cheeks start to heat up as he remembers that Chelia wasn't dating anyone at the moment and also because she just press her chest into his back.

"So what do you say? Want to go steady with me? I know a nice little place in the south part of town called the Cupid's Lounge where we can have our first date", Chelia tells him.

"Cupid's Lounge? South part of town?" Romeo thought for a moment before answering, "Chelia, Cupid's Lounge is a love hotel in the red-light district of town."

"Oh, so you have been there before?" Chelia asked with a smile on her face which slightly creep Romeo out.

"Only to pick up my dad whenever he was causing a ruckus over there", Romeo admitted remembering how he has been over there six times in the past three months to pick up his old man after the hotel manager kicked him out for causing fights with the other patrons.

"Then when could head over there right now", Chelia said as she changed directions and started head toward the south part of town.

"I don't think that's a good idea", Romeo try to reason with her, "You're obviously not yourself and I think you're making a terrible choice right now."

"But Romeo", Chelia started to say as she whispers huskily into his ear, "Don't you want me?"

Romeo once again feels all the blood rush to his lower regions as he tries to get a hold of himself.

"Well, technically it's not like she has me trapped or anything like Arana. It also sounds like this might be consensual, unlike Erza."

"I-", Romeo starts to say before a loud voice fills the skies.

"SKY DRAGON'S ROAR!"

A mini tornado comes spiraling toward Chelia and Romeo and the god-slayer is forced to drop the Rainbow Fire mage in order to evade the attack. As Romeo plummets to his death, his mind races with thoughts.

"Ah shit! This is it! This is the part where I die! It was such a good life too!", are what he presume would be his last thought before he suddenly feels a pair of arms grabs him once again. As he looks up once again he comes face to face with none other than Wendy Marvell herself.

"Romeo! Are you alright?" she asks with great concern even though her eyes were as yellow as Chelia.

"I-I'm fine", he says as he started to become lost in her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" an icy voice across from them says.

Both Wendy and Romeo looked up to see Chelia hovering a good three yards away from them with her arms cross and a displeasing look on her face.

"Drop him, he's mine", Chelia threatens as black swirls began to gather around her and Wendy only glare back in response.

"Um, can we remember that I'm the only one here who didn't learn how to manipulate the wind to allow them to fly, so dropping me is really not a good idea right now", Romeo reminded the two slayers as they were having a stare off.

Wendy and Chelia seemed to ignore his pleads until they started to lowers themselves down to the ground. They landed in the Southern Park of the town which was deserted at the moment.

"Give him back to me", Chelia demanded.

"No", was Wendy reply.

"You already have Mest, don't be greedy", Chelia tells her as she unfolds her arms

"That's...complicated", Wendy admits as she releases Romeo who moves out of the way of the two Sky Slayers.

"Complicated?", Romeo thinks.

"I couldn't care less what it is", Chelia admits in such a tone that Romeo was having a hard time believing that the girl who said it was really Wendy's best friend, "All I know is that you're spoken for while Romeo and I are perfectly single."

"I'm not giving him over to you", Wendy tells her.

"Don't get in my way Wendy. This isn't the Grand Magic Games from all those years ago. Push me and I will not hold back on you and I guarantee that this won't end in a tie this time."

"We'll see about that, Chelia."

"Can we try to talk about this?" Romeo asks, "While I'm sure some guys would consider this a fantasy to have two such lovely ladies fighting over them; I'm not really someone worth fighting your best friend over."

"Quiet Romeo!" both slayers replied as they began to gather their respective winds around them and pretty soon the lower end of Magnolia's South Park became a scene of twirling, clashing black and white winds. As Romeo watched in both shock and amazement he couldn't help but feel bad over the aspect that maybe he just ruined Wendy and Chelia friendship unwillingly.

As both slayers began to shallow massive amount of air; Romeo then prepared himself for the inevitable first attack.

"SKY GOD'S BELLOW!"

"SKY DRAGON'S ROAR!"

And with that, the unofficial rematch between Wendy Marvell and Chelia Blendy from the X791 Grand Magic Games begun, only this time Romeo was the prize for victory.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6

Problems with Sisters

"You know, you think it be easy to find a shirtless teenage boy being chase by a massive horde of sexually frustrated, possibly homicidal, overly powerful, beautiful female mages in a town this size", Cana commented as she Lisanna, Macao, and Wakaba were running through the streets of Magnolia, searching through everywhere for the younger Conbolt mage.

"I know right", Lisanna agreed, "It's like this town is usually bigger than it really is at the worst of times but small enough that I always run into someone from Fairy Tail when I don't need to."

"Shouldn't we be more focus on finding Romeo than debating the size of Magnolia?" Wakaba asks, "It just seem like something that could wait till later."

While all this was going on, Macao looked like he was having an internal struggle within himself; something that did not go unnoticed by the youngest Strauss sibling.

"Hey Macao, you okay over there?" she asks which causes Cana to look over at him as well.

"I'm fine", he answers, "Just been wondering about something ever since this morning."

"About what?" Cana asked.

Macao turns to them with a serious expression on his face, "About you two and my son."

Both of the girls tense up upon hearing this.

"Oh crap, what is he going to ask us?"Cana thought.

"Is he going to expect us to take responsibility for getting his son in this mess",Lisanna wondered to herself.

"Tell me, you two", Macao began his tone still serious….

"Oh crap, here it comes",both girls wondered at the same time.

"Now that you try the son, would you like to give the father a try?" he asks with a perverted grin on his face, "I assure you that I'm the more mature, experience one!"

WHACK!

BAM!

Ten seconds later, Wakaba is struggling to pull his buddy head out of the hole it made in the street while Lisanna and Cana resume their search with pissed off looks on their faces.

Magnolia's South Park

Wendy Marvell and Chelia Blendy were known for many things within the world of mages; their striking beauty, their marvelous singing voices, and their amazing talent with healing magic.

But there was one thing they were more famous for among the legal guilds and dark guilds of Ishgar than everything else….

Their ferocious fighting abilities.

There were less than two dozen mages that could match them in hand-to-hand combat; even less that could surpass them, and most of them were only by a small margin. So powerful were their attacks that over the years that have gained the nicknames: The Black and White Hurricanes. Names that were no doubt rightly given, given the level of destruction the two of them could cause, though they were better at minimize the collateral damage than Natsu and the others were.

Anyway, back to the main reason why this is important. While both Wendy and Chelia were masters in their own specializing art of martial arts, it would seem at that very moment all their years of experiences was thrown out the window as the battle between the two slayers of the sky devolve into a struggle to establish feminine dominance…

In layman's terms, the two girls were having a catfight; with hair pulling, bitch-slapping, and the occasional insults throwing.

"Why do you even want Romeo? You have a fan club, for Mavis' sake! In fact, you have a dozen fan clubs around the country!", Wendy bellowed as she collided with Chelia and both of them went tumbling down a hill.

"I could ask you the same thing, you're like four hundred years older than him", Chelia replied, "That's definitely cradle robbing in my books."

"I had no choice in the matter of getting send four hundred years into the future or getting frozen in time for seven!"

"Still though, you already got a boyfriend!", Chelia said.

The girls land at the bottom of the hill with Wendy on top. The dragon-slayer rears her hand and proceeded to deliver a slap only for Chelia to catch her arm in mid-motion and using the momentum to swap places with Wendy and allow herself to be on top now.

"Maybe if you stop dressing like a little kid and started dressing more like a woman, more boys would find you attractive!", Chelia said as she try to do a elbow drop on Wendy's face only for the girl to move her head out of the way in time to dodge.

"So I should start dressing like you then? I should start dressing like a whore?!"

"I do not dress like a whore!", Chelia argued as she unleashed a barrage of slap at Wendy's face who proceed to put her guard up to block a majority of them.

"Oh please, with those massive tits of yours, I doubt you ever have to lift a finger to get anything done around Margaret Town! You just bend over and jiggle them a little and guys come flocking to you!", Wendy accuses as she found an opening in Chelia's "attack" and thus unleashed her own fury of slaps.

"You're just mad because you have had the same chest size for over four centuries!"

"Well we'll see if your healing magic can fix all the shoulder pains you're going to have later on!"

"Oh! So the truth comes out; this isn't just about me being better-looking than you, it's also about my magic being better than yours!"

"Ha! You wish! I was actually trained by a dragon; you got your magic from a book!"

Wendy is able to push Chelia off of her and the God-Slayer tumbles away from her before rolling straight up into a fighting stance, to which Wendy takes her own.

"Beside, Romeo deserves someone who can treat him right, not someone who rejects his confession and tell him she likes him better as a friend", Chelia yells, striking a nerve within both Romeo and Wendy.

"Wow, thanks Chelia; bring up that bad memory why don't ya?", the rainbow fire mage thinks as he remembers back to that dreadful day.

"I said it's complicated!", Wendy boomed, her voice ringing throughout the park.

"Oh please, you're just acting like a spoiled child", Chelia states as she crosses her arms.

"I show you spoiled child!", Wendy roars as she charges toward Chelia and once again the two slayers emerge themselves into a colossal brawl.

(At this point the author of the story would like to convey that due to the mind-blowing epicness of the fight between Chelia and Wendy; the author thought it best that it only be describe through the eyes of Romeo, as the sheer volume of violence would no doubt be too much for the reader to handle, enjoy."

Romeo's P.O.V.

"Well, there goes the jungle gym. Annnnnnd it just crash into the bake shop."

…

….

….

"Huh, I never pegged Chelia to be strong enough to lift an entire cherry blossom tree out of the ground and use it as a baseball bat. I guess looks can be deceiving."

…

….

….

"Not to downgrade the seriousness of this fight or sound like my dad, but I really thought that by this point there would be more clothes being torn off."

…

….

….

"It is a huge coincidence and stroke of luck that there was no one in the park or the general surrounding area today, especially on a Sunday."

…

….

…..

"One would never think that Wendy's fingernails were strong enough to leave deep gauges in pure steel, but I guess they can."

…

….

….

"Did I see Wendy use her magic to spin her pigtails fast enough to cut through solid rock? Surprisingly that doesn't even make the top ten of the weirdest things I seen today."

…

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…..

(The author will now return you to the regular written story.)

End of Romeo's P.O.V.

Chelia lands a vicious kick to Wendy side that sends her sprawling like a bullet across the park into a nearby house; the dragon-slayer colliding into the building with a thunderous crash.

"Wendy!", Romeo screams out and is prepare to run to see if she's okay only to have his path blocked by a disheveled Chelia who suddenly lands in front of him. She was breathing heavily and frankly looked completely ragged, yet undeniably sexy at the same time, Romeo thought in the back of his mind.

"Oh good gods; that was….a lot harder, and weirder, than I thought it would be!", Chelia pants as she tries to catch her breath, "Wendy been training hard over the years!", she says as she finally turns her head to look back at her prey AKA Romeo.

"Now…", she said with a voice as smooth as honey, "Where were we?"

And right before Romeo very eyes, the Sky god-slayer started to remove her blouse.

Well, she try to at least, it seem that somehow in the skirmish the buttons got stuck or something.

"What…what are you doing?!", Romeo screamed out.

"What do you think I'm doing?", Chelia responded, " I finished up where we left off before we were interrupted."

"But, but Wendy could be hurt!" Romeo tried to explain to her, "And we're in the middle of a park; a very public park!"

"Oh please", Chelia scoffed, "Wendy will be fine, I didn't kick her that hard. She'll be out for an hour or two at best. Enough time for us to get a round or two in."

"A round or two in?!", Romeo yelled, shocked at the words that just came out of Chelia's mouth, "Even if Wendy is okay and is only knocked out, We are still in a public park!"

"So? What's wrong with that?" Chelia asks while tilting her head and finally getting to the finally bottom on her blouse. As she opens it up and reveals her hot pink lacy bra that contained her double D cup breasts, Romeo's mind begins to shut down as he still try in a vain attempt to reason with her.

"You mean other than at least a dozen criminals charges?!", Romeo said trying to keep his eyes on her face.

"I got enough money to pay off the fines", Chelia shrugged as she began to work on her skirt now.

Romeo, getting sick and tired of Chelia's antics and desperate to go and make sure Wendy is okay, shakes his head in frustration and moves to sidestep Chelia. Just as he about to walk pass her, a large swirl of blacks winds blows past him, mere inches from his face, decimating a tree that somehow survived the initial skirmish between Wendy and Chelia some twenty yards away.

Romeo is frozen in fear and very slowly turns his head to the source of the blast, only to lock eyes with Chelia who had one hand outstretch while the other one was still working on her skirt. The yellow haze of her eyes added an almost psycho look to her face, as they bore straight in the young Rainbow Fire mage soul.

"I highly suggest you don't go anywhere at the moment, Romeo", she says in tone for cold that Romeo had to suppress a shiver "I would really hate to have to chase you across town half-naked; for if I have to I can't promise you that you'll come out of our love-making session in one piece. Do we have an agreement?"

Romeo cautiously nods his head.

Chelia's face instantly brighten up, any traces of underline killer intent gone, "Okay then! Just give me a moment and we'll begin soon my light firefly! I think the zipper on my skirt is stuck!"

"Little firefly? Where the fuck she get that from?",Romeo thought before shaking his head, "No Romeo! Focus, Wendy could be seriously hurt, I don't care what Chelia says.! Think of a way out of this!"

"Wait a minute, Chelia", Romeo calls out.

"Yes, Romeo?", the girl answers as she continue fiddling with the zipper on her skirt.

"Aren't you a virgin?", Romeo asks, remembering how her cousin Sherry still refers to her and Wendy as the Sky Maidens.

The question catches the god-slayer off-guard as she struggles to fight down a blush.

"It's-it's true", she stammers out while looking away in embarrassment, "I haven't really met the right guy yet, and all the guys I have dated turn out to be total jerks."

"That being said, do you really want your first time to be in the middle of a park? Wouldn't you rather it be somewhere else, say like my room?" Romeo suggests.

Chelia thinks on this for a moment, pondering her opinions.

"Well, I guess we would have our vigorous marathon of expressing our love for one another in the confine of our bedroom, if that's what you want", she said, slowly agreeing to Romeo's suggestion.

"Good, it just so happen that my house is that way", Romeo pointed to the other side of the park.

Chelia looks in that direction and after a moment of seeing where Romeo was pointing, narrows her eyes.

"That's in the direction that I kicked Wendy into", she points out as she turns her head back to the fire mage.

"A huge coincidence, I assure you", Romeo said, hoping Chelia didn't notice him sweating.

Unfortunately she did, but it didn't have the effect on her that Romeo feared. Instead, she seemed to stare more intently at Romeo's shirtless body as the sweat glisten off his chest and to Romeo's horror, her eyes somehow became a darker shade of yellow.

"Chelia? You okay?", Romeo asked with a little fear in his voice.

"I'm better than okay", Chelia answered in a voice that made Romeo want to instantly take a cold shower, ice cubes and all, "In fact, I change my mind on something."

"On what exactly?", Romeo questioned, even though he already had a good idea what she was talking about, especially seeing how crappy his luck has been all day.

"I decided that sex in the park would be a good first experience for me", she states while ripping off her blouse and skirt, leaving her in nothing but her matching underwear.

"Wait! Wait Chelia!", Romeo said as he try to talk some sense into the girl, "The whole "you're a virgin bit", remember that?!"

"Why of course I remember that, Romeo", Chelia purr as she started to walk toward Romeo in such a provocative manner that Romeo had to bring a hand to his nose to stop the bleeding that was sure to come. The way her hips and chest sway as if to the tune of a invisible instrument, the way she licked her lips slowly with her tongue and the way she looked at Romeo as if he was a slab of meat all pointed to the fact that she has thrown all logic and common sense out the window at this point and that there was only one thing on her mind.

Copulation.

Romeo found himself mesmerized by the sight and himself stuck in a trance as Chelia gently grab hold of his scarf (which was somehow still around his neck) and pulled him closer to her.

"I am a virgin, Romeo. Which means I still oh so tight down there", she whisper into his ear in a huskily manner, "But I'm also soak down there as well."

Romeo at this point felt like a geyser was about to go off in his pants.

"So I'm tight, wet, but also inexperienced in these type of manners", Chelia moans, "So be a good boy and be gentle with me; it's my first time."

All Romeo's mental functions went into overdrive at that statement, along with all reasonable thought shattering into a million pieces.

And he would have been at Chelia's mercy if she wasn't send flying by a dropkick to the face performed by the Fairy Tail own residential Sky-Dragon Slayer. The pink-hair mage goes speeding across the ground and plows into a hill in the middle of the park, leaving a giant crater in her wake.

Romeo's jaw nearly hits the ground as he stares in fright at the display of strength he witness. A sudden growl brings him back to the world and he turns to stare into the hate, with hints of lust splash into them, filled eyes of Wendy Marvell.

"W-Wendy?", Romeo croaks out, wondering what happen to the sweet girl who only a short while going was asking him if he was alright. His voice must have trigger something within her cause in a flash the anger in her eyes disappear and she was back to being the innocent girl everyone knew her to be.

Even if her eyes were still hazily yellow.

"Romeo, are you okay?", Wendy asks, once again concerned for the young fire mage.

"Definite okay", Romeo responded as he involuntarily relaxed his guard a bit, "Because in the past six hours, I have been threaten, awkwardly praised, chased, trapped, carried through the air, and almost killed all for reasons that were either completely out of my hands or I have no knowledge of."

"Sounds like you been having a rough day", Wendy commented while moving a little closer to Romeo, something that surprisingly went unnoticed by the boy.

"Yeah, it has been a hell of a morning", Romeo said while closing his eyes and rubbing his temples as Wendy move ever closer to him.

"I'm sorry to hear that", Wendy said as her voice took on a seductress tone, "How about you and I get out of here, head to my room at Fairy Hill and I'll give you a full-body examination? To make so you're not hurt of course. I think we'll focus on your lower body region first."

Romeo's eyes suddenly widen in shock as he feels Wendy gently stroke her fingertips up and down his bare chest. When he looks over at the young Dragon-slayer, he notices that her once hazily yellow eyes were now practically glowing and the look on her face clearly suggested the exact opposite of what she just said.

"You don't have a problem with this do you?", Wendy asked in a innocent voice with a not-so-innocent smile.

"I-um, we-", Romeo feels his mouth go dry as he struggles to make a complete sentence while he brain tries to play catch up.

"Well Romeo", Wendy purrs, as she grabs his scarf just like Chelia did before and only this time pulls him down instead of up to her, "Shall we get going?"

Romeo doesn't have time to answer as a card goes flying between his and Wendy's face, and the next thing he know a bright flash fills his vision.

"Son of a bitch!", a voice rings out which surprisingly wasn't Romeo as Wendy fell to the ground thrashing about, letting lose a stream of very unladylike curses, "Do people have any idea what bright flashes like that do to Dragon-Slayers' eyes?!"

Romeo himself was still recovering from the light when he felt a hand grab him and drag him away. As the spots in his vision start to fade away, he began to make out the figures of both Cana and Lisanna, as the Card mage was the one dragging him while the Take-Over mage was yelling at her.

"Really?! The best idea you could come up with was blinding her?!"

"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't see you coming up with any plans at the moment so I figure I give it a go!", Cana shot back, "It work didn't it?"

"All it succeed in doing is-", Lisanna try to argue back when a loud bestial roar echoed throughout Magnolia.

"RAWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRR!", could be heard all throughout the town, surpassing Ezra earlier "declaration" in sheer magnitude and causing Romeo, Lisanna, and Cana to stop in their tracks and look behind them in the direction the roar originated from.

"Oh shit", they all said at the same time as they witness a tornado of immense velocity begin to swell from the middle of the south park. Such power were the winds that made up the spiral tower of death that the trees themselves were getting lifted out of the ground and capture within it vortex.

And in the center of the storm as a floating figure whose blue hair whipped around her and even from a distance Romeo and the girls could clearly make out the death-filled glare in her flashing yellow-colored eyes.

"I will have him! No one can keep him away from me!", her voice boomed across the area; though it was a few degree lower in tone and sound more akin to a demon than the angel she was used to being refer as, "And all who would stand in my way SHALL SUFFER!"

"We should go", Lisanna finally voices as the last of Wendy's voice echoes away in the distance.

"Best idea I heard all day", Cana agreed and Romeo simply nods as the trio took off back toward the guild hall.

Meanwhile at the Guild Hall.

Both Porlyusica and Makarov were sitting in the middle of the guild hall, waiting for word back for the search parties. Porlyusica was examining the bottle while Makarov was mumbling while calculating the cost of damages his guild was causing inside of his head.

"That's a hundred thousand jewels for the damages to the street in front of the guild, fifty thousands for….", he rambled on.

"Oh sweet merciful gods in the heavens!", Porlyusica suddenly yells out, causing Makarov to jump up in surprise, "We have a problem!"

"Oh good Mavis, what is it this time?!", Makarov wondered as he put his hand on his chest to calm himself from the outburst.

"Look at this", Porlyusica says as she shoves the bottle into his face and points at two tiny, almost unnoticeable symbols that consist of the male and female gender symbols with hearts drawn into it. But within that hearts were skulls.

"Okay, skulls usually mean something bad in cases like these", Makarov said, "But how bad are we talking here?"

"You know how these kids tend to let their emotions get the better of them and they also tend to take it to the extreme?", Porlyusica inquired.

"Yes, can't deny that", Makarov agreed.

"Well lets just say that for the girls who are affected….", Porlyusica started to say, "Things may get a little…complicated for Romeo."

Back with the Loveless Trio

"Is ever man you guys sleep with curse with this type of luck or is it just me?", Romeo asks as he, Lisanna and Cana were in the process of running across the cathedral square.

Both Lisanna and Cana stop right next to the cathedral walls and turn to glare at the residential Rainbow Fire Mage.

"What's that suppose to mean?", Lisanna growled.

"All I know that despite growing up in Fairy Tail my entire life and being there for all the wars, demons, dark guild attacks, and even internal struggles, I have never witness shit as crazy as this before", Romeo explained, "And it all started the day after I slept with the both of ya'll, so I can help but feel that there is a connection here somewhere."

Lisanna and Cana both glances at one another for a moment. After a second, Cana throws her hands up in defeat.

"Fine, I'll tell him", she says as she turns her attention back toward the boy who now has a confuse expression on his face.

"Tell me what?"

"Well, you see Romeo", Cana began, "There's more to this problem than just bad luck."

Two minutes later

"Romeo, lets all calm down and try not to burn down the church", Lisanna pleaded as she took a step from the fire mage who looked ready to turn Cana to ash.

"Oh do tell me, Lisanna", Romeo spoke in a dangerous tone, "How in Mavis' name am I suppose to remain calm upon learning that the very reason that I have been having such a hectic morning, is standing a mere four feet and acting like she's NOT responsible whatsoever?!"

And sure enough Cana was standing there with a somewhat non-guilty look on her face, the fact that she was shrugging wasn't helping matters.

"Okay, to be fair", Cana began to argue, "If you weren't such a push-over, you could've stop me from pouring that bottle down your throat!"

Romeo takes a unusual deep breath before engulf both his entire arms in purple flames, "I going to give you until the count of three to apologize, run, or prepare for me to beat the ever living crap out of you. I don't really care which choice you make because at this point, I'll get some small measure of satisfaction out of whatever one you chose. One."

"Now Romeo, let's all take a step backward and try to remain calm", Lisanna begged while Cana reach into her card pouch.

"Two", Romeo continues on while taking a step toward Cana.

"You want to do this right here? We can do this right here!", Cana bellows are her cards began to glow.

"Please not now you guys", Lisanna pleaded.

"Thr-" Romeo suddenly stops in his tracks as his voice got caught in his throat and a overwhelming sense of dread overtakes his senses.

And it wasn't just him; both Lisanna and Cana froze up and broke into cold sweats as they too felt the ominous aura of death that was coming from behind them. As all three of them slowly turn around to see what was giving off such a suffocating feeling of death they come face-to-face with the devil himself.

Or more like herself.

"Well now", the eldest Strauss sibling cooed, "What do we have here? Now you won't trying to take what was rightfully mine away from me now, were you little Lili?"

Back at Fairy Tail

"Porlyusica, please tell me that you developed a sick sense of humor in the past few hours and everything you just told me is your idea of a terrible joke", Makarov begs the Potion Mage from his kneeled position on the floor, "Please."

"You know I actually wish that was the case, Makarov", she told him as she softly patted him on the head, "But I'm afraid that it's not. This symbol on the bottle represents the "three strike" rule. Every time Romeo spurs the advances of the women affected by the potion; they get more aggressive in their attempts. Pretty soon on the third strike they stop seeing Romeo as a person and start seeing him as a tool, a means to an end to satisfy their sexual urges if you will. Now depending on who they are, some may show aggressive as early as the second strike."

"I think I'm developing a migraine now", Makarov complained, "Also I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be extremely knowledgeable in this matter."

"That's a story for another time", Porylusica says, "But if my math is correct; if we count the incidents he had with the girls when the potion first started taking affect along with him when he ran out of the guild hall-"

"Wait a minute, him running from them counts as a strike?" Makarov asked.

"Anything that prevents the girls from having their way with him, be it his fault or not, counts as a strikes, per say", Porylusica concluded.

"My migraine has officially become worse now."

"Now like I was saying; taking all of this into account, he should be at the most, in the two-strike zone for every girl that has been affected so fa-" Porylusica stops as her face starts pale.

"What is it? What's the matter?", a concern Makarov asked.

"Erza's declaration from earlier", the Potion mage croaked out, "All things considered, she probably made it after Romeo escape her grasp and that was strike three."

"Which means…?" Makarov said as he caught on to what Porylusica was getting at.

"Which means should Romeo run into Erza again, she will have no rational thought and the only thing her mind, no her instincts will tell her is that she need to engage in her deepest carnal desires with Romeo, whether he wants to or not."

"Oh sweet magic gods, Romeo might-" Makarov said, "He might not-"

"But let's just say that if he somehow survives all the women who are affected", Porylusica said, "He might not survive the second half of the gender spectrum of this problem."

"What are you talking about?", Makarov asks.

"Well, while males don't get affected by the sexual attraction aspect of the potion, this one in particular has a somewhat more dangerous side effect", Porylusica began to explain.

Back in the Cathedral's Plaza

It was back.

The fear.

The fear Lisanna hasn't felt in a very long time; the fear of her sister's wrath. Back when the trio first joined Fairy Tail, Mira was a force to be reckoned with. She still is today no doubt, but that fact is mask by her sweet personality. But back then there was no barkeeper Mira, no super-model Mira. There was only the rebel girl who would challenge Erza to daily fights simply for the hell of it and despite public opinion, neither she nor Elfman were completely spare from her rage.

And whenever one of them incur it; she would always use the nicknames she had for them. In fact, that was the only time she ever use the nicknames.

For Elfman, it was little Elfelf. As for herself, it was little Lili.

Mira was never good at coming up with nicknames for stuff that didn't pertained to romantic couples.

But that was beside the point; the fact that she had just called her little "Lili" has turned the youngest Strauss sister into shivering wreck, as she stood frozen to her stop, shaking feverishly while spouting…

"Please don't hurt me Mira; I don't want the crabs in my hair again. Please don't hurt me Mira; I promise not to take your dolls without your permission ever again. Please don't hurt me big sis, please put the blow torch away. Please stop, I promise I'll never do it again.", Lisanna quietly ranted on as she recalled all the terrible memories that she sworn she locked away forever in the darkest depths of her mind all the while Romeo and Cana just stare at her in shock.

"I always knew the three of them were somewhat of a dysfunctional family, but this is a little too much", Cana thought.

"And I thought my family was weird", Romeo thought.

"Ahem", brings both Romeo and Cana attention back to residential devil of Fairy Tail, "Still standing here."

"Oh, sorry about that Mira, kind of got caught up in my thoughts there", Cana apologizes.

"Yeah me too, sorry about that", Romeo says, "What exactly were we doing just now?"

Mira's face dons a confuse expression, "You know what I forgot myself. Anyone have a script on them?"

"I do", Lisanna says as she suddenly snaps out of frighten spell and pull a large manuscript out of her pocket. She runs over to her sister as Romeo and Cana gather around her so all four of them could read the script; but not before the group all pull out their reading glasses.

(The author would like to apologize for the forgetfulness of the actors and actresses involved in this production. Please stand by as we try to correct this problem.)

"Why has the title been cross out and replace like five times?", Cana asks.

"The author had a hard time sticking with a title", Mira explains, "I mean seriously, have you seen how many times the guy has change the title for "The Fiery Hurricane of Love"?"

"Also have you notice how he never completes a story, he just starts a new one? I think the author may have some serious ADHD", Lisanna says.

"I think we ought to stop starting about the author of the story and focus on our place in the story", Romeo suggest while looking around everywhere, half-expecting to be killed off at any moment, despise being the main character for the story, "That Martin guy been known to killed off main characters, what's stopping this author from doing so?"

The four flip through page after page of the script before finally finding their spot.

"Ah, here we are!", Cana yells out, "Me and Romeo are suppose to be cowering in fear of you Mira, while Lisanna is having a near mental breakdown, and of course you act like a sex-craze woman who is willing to destroy entire countries to get her hands on Romeo."

"Sounds about right", Mira agreed.

"Alright, guess we better get to it then", Romeo says as all four of them take up their positions.

"And action!", a mysterious voice says.

(We once again return you to the regular schedule program.)

"Oh gods, it's Mira!", Romeo screams out.

"No shit Sherlock!", Cana tells him as she takes a step back, slowly putting as much distance as she can between her and the S-Class terror.

"Now Romeo, why don't you just bring your tight little ass over here so we can get out of here so I can fuck the ever-living shit out of you until you can't stand up let alone walk anymore?", Mira asks in the most sweetest voice all while still maintaining the same smile she always had on.

….

….

…..

"Yep", Romeo says as he points toward the mountains, "And with that sentence goes the last of my childhood's innocence, right over Mt. Hakobe."

"Hell, there goes the last of my innocence", Cana adds in.

"You never had it to begin with", Romeo murmurs to himself as Mira suddenly vanishes and then reappears in front of him, causing him to fall backwards on his ass.

"Ack!"

"Now come along Romeo", Mira says as she grabs him by his scarf, "We have much….strenuous activities ahead of us."


End file.
